THE HISTORY OF LIFETIME FRIENDSHIPS

Do you consider yourself to be a friendly person? I did until I reflected back over the working years and pondered  that I may not have been as friendly as first thought. On leaving school at fifteen which is nearly fifty five years ago I cannot remember with confidence friendships that mattered. A victim of bullying I see only those years as sticking to the other kids who were out in the cold like me.
My working life started in a factory pushed by my mother who had worked hard all her life, who believed it would be good for me.  So I went into a cigarette making factory, not ideal I suppose for a fifteen year old but I didn't smoke so it didn't bother me that everyone else did. We were given free cigarettes at the end of the week which I gave to my stepfather who seemed very happy about it. I earned good money and friendships were more about going out for a laugh and a good time on Friday night, none deep and meaningful.
Years later I became a nurse and all through  I had good friends and yet they are no where in my life today. What does that say about me I wonder?
Before I started nurse training I had trod the boards of many factories, easy back then to fall out with one job and fall into another. In some ways we were the lucky generation for work because of the rise of industry after the second world war. I moved a way to work by the sea side for a time in the hotel business as a chamber maid, but those friends have long gone.
Although friendships seemed to slip away like water through a sieve I made one friend, Joan who I considered my best friend, until she found a boyfriend, married him and moved to Australia. Was it that awful day when I waved her off which had such an impact upon me? I made the decision to not bother getting close in the future.
True friends came much later when I started to grow up a little and become more sensible throughout my nurse training days. It's strange now how I am struggling to remember my fellow student nurses and the wonderful times we had throughout our training,  I know we laughed a lot. By then I had a daughter and needed to come home at night so all the parties and the fun times were not for me in those days. Ambition became my friend and now retrospectively there wasn't much time for friendships.
It was in 1987 when I began my training in Psychotherapy I found true friends. Until then I had kept some part of me back from relationships, in training we needed to allow ourselves to become vulnerable, let others  see beneath the various masks we wear in our daily encounters.  Making oneself vulnerable means showing  true emotions, being honest and allowing others into our hidden worlds. Very frightening sometimes.
Friends made back then and onward are still my friends. I may not see all of them but I have a sense that we could call on each others as if it were yesterday.
There seems a deeper sense of connection and like-mindedness with these friends because of the sharing aspects of our training. We learned the true meaning of empathy and love and that endures in all friendships I have made since. I no longer wear a mask, or hide my true feelings and for many that can be too much. Being myself with people I meet means that some may not stay around long enough to be friends.
It is important to know yourself and be true to yourself then real friends can really get to know you and can feel free to be themselves also.