THE STORMIEST SHIP ON THE SEA IS RELATIONSHIP!

I have never really been on a ship when there has been a storm thank God! I have been on a boat in Majorca when the sea was very choppy and that scared the pants off me. I remember being upset and frightened as I clung to the rail and felt terrified of being washed over board and the boat capsizing. I can't swim so that didn't help and had lots of flashbacks about falling in the water at the school baths and no one realising that I was drowning. Of course here I am to tell the tale but it put me off and thereafter had to take fake notes to school excusing me from the weekly trip to the local baths. Nowadays I only venture onto boat trips if the water is calm and the day is windless. Perhaps a metaphor for life.

However all this leads me to my title 'The Stormiest Ship' etc. In truth I do mean relationships, family, friends, partners and working contacts also.
For the most part they bob along island hopping, moving through change, dealing with misunderstandings, conflicts, separation and coming together as groups of individuals at various times with various difficulties.

How do each of us deal with family conflict, extra marital affairs, health issues and financial problems and old age and so on? Maybe we take it in our stride seeing it as a hill to climb an obstacle to overcome or maybe we turn our backs on conflict and pretend it isn't happening. Maybe we lose touch and leave members behind. It surprises me how many people I know haven't seen a son or daughter or sister/brother for years.

Each of us has our own philosophy for dealing with relationship conflict. I know people who are unforgiving and will not budge towards making a move to sooth the conflict. Then there are others who see conflict as normal and just a life issue and will move beyond the trouble putting it on one side, perhaps dealing with it head on in the hope of soothing the road ahead. I know of some who won't bite the bullet and confront the issues and I know some who will just suck it up on the day for the sake of those they love.

There is no doubt that life is difficult and it is full of ups and downs, and all we have to do is accept that we have to overcome these difficulties and face that this is how life is. That way we will not be tortured that 'life is against us' or that we are experiencing 'bad Karma' or some such thing. Life is life and that's it and how we sail this ship depends upon each of us. How we negotiate or navigate stormy seas is up to us, sometimes we may plan not to take a certain journey foreseeing a storm ahead or maybe we go full steam  and face each obstacle as it comes . Of course problems bring emotional upheaval, or physical pain but it is how we meet and solve these problems, how we get through the issue of the day that counts in the reduction of pain.

I suppose if there is a problem within any relationship do we want to solve it? How much does it matter? My philosophy is 'If there is a way to solve it then solve it or at least attempt to'. Sometimes we as individuals do not see ourselves as to blame, thus blame others for what is wrong therefore seeing the other as needing to solve it. If we want life to be easier then we must take responsibility for our part in problems or stormy moments. We must be prepared to look at ourselves honestly and prepared to put ourselves in someone else's shoes which means empathising with the one you are at odds with.
It takes courage to be honest and also have the capacity not to hurt deliberately in this honesty.
Be true to oneself which means you don't go out to sea in a shoddy boat
Be true to the other so that they are not left holding a quivering sailor who never wanted to be there in the first place.
Be accepting of others then maybe they will accept you.
See yourself as others see you rather than the fantasy image you are trying to project.
Empathise with the other when relationships become stormy and finally, communicate well before things get out of hand.
Talking is the art of healing, communication is the glue that hold the ship together.

I do not pretend to have solved this particular issue but with age  hope that I can put myself in the position of 'do unto others as I would be done by'.